Pet Your Pet

Listen:

I have been very busy finishing our short film 'Dundas Street' with my film partner, getting it ready for an upcoming deadline. Now that it's essentially done, I can recommit myself to being whimsical and charming for people of the internet. Once in a while, when I feel like it. Promise.

Now that all sass has been replenished, I have some fresh meat to lay down. And when I say fresh meat, I mean animals. But not to eat. I could never eat a dog or a horse, because they make me soft and stupid inside. I love them so much. 

Back to animals. Troy Emery and Jason Freeny. Who are these jokers? Answer: They are artists, who happen to be imaginatively clever. 

Troy Emery is amazing. He uses neon pompoms (probably my favourite medium) to create magical animal sculptures. Stripes, proportion play, colour blocking, and more!

© Troy Emery

© Troy Emery

© Troy Emery

© Troy Emery

© Troy Emery

Unfortunately, I sort of feel like Nicki Minaj or someone equally caustic would wear something like this.

Oh look, she already has:

via JustJared

But why would that cheapen my love for Emery's work? Emery's detailed patterning is gorgeous, and there's nothing like a real huggable rainbow.

One of his dogs is better than a pet because it's just as soft, but doesn't lick its own genitals before licking your face. Plus a real dog would like a miserable clown if you gave it a dyed technicolour coat.

And here we have Jason Freeny, a cunning sculpturist. My oh my. One of his projects is comprised of deconstructed vinyl toys, with inner anatomy on display.

Little bones, little heart, little intestines. And you could easily get away with calling it a adult toy. It's mature, it's scientific (fictionally scientific, but I'll side-step the oxymoron).

© Jason Freeny

Did you know that My Little Pony has bell-bottom foot bones? (I did. But that's an obvious one.)

© Jason Freeny

Did you know that a Care Bear is composed of more than just care?

© Jason Freeny

And now, a dough animal. But he's more than just dough! There's a pelvis in there too. Now we can find the origin of his 'woo hoo' sound. 

Art School, Cool Fools

The best part of being an art student is getting away with anything. Nothing is of major consequence; you're not trying to sell your work or please a client to pay your rent. In fact, you're the one paying a school to nurture your creativity, foster your ideas. Often those ideas are strange, confusing... experiments [mistakes].

I wish I cared a bit less when I was in school. I was such a hard ass, very strict with my brain. I really didn't like the idea of making mistakes. If only I relaxed a bit, maybe I'd have come up with something as heartwrenchingly exciting as these stunners:

This is my favourite, elephant aaaaaaaarrmmmmm

I mean it. I think these are incredible. It's like jumping off the roof into a pool of garage sale. I'm getting itchy just looking at them. 

To be fair, the designers are fashion students at a top school in England. They need press and notoriety to get somewhere after grad. They probably don't have the laissez-faire attitude I'm imagining. 

Have you seen Art School Confidential? It's mandatory. That's all. 

I don't like to get into conversations about art with people who hate. There's always someone who says, my 5 year old could make this crap. And I think, but they didn't! If your 5 year old can somehow get a gallery show and sell their work successfully, that's when they'll get the seal of approval from the public. You need to join the capitalist club to be someone. It's kind of confusing (which is why I try to avoid talking about it altogether).  

But then there are those under appreciated, quiet artists who don't get the recognition they deserve. Don't worry, when I'm rich enough I'll buy their art and support those stars. Or just blog about them behind their backs.


(Student designs on the runway at the Royal College of Art Graduate Show June 2, 2011)

The 1960s: Now with less logic

This has been very 60s month. And while yes, I do feel like I'm getting all senior citizen-y (see: needlepoint), I'm actually referring to the visual research we've been doing at the studio. My eyes have only been grazing on all that is Mod, Parisian, and Optical Art.

I've been loving that era since I was in the womb. Honestly, I was born with my hair in a beehive. My tolerance for the wackiness of the 60s is pretty high. High as a hippy.

Sure, everything from the 60s is ridiculous in a way; Men's turtlenecks, paper dresses, and a love of polyester/plastic. While I've been scouring for inspiration and references, once in a while something truly ridiculous made its way to me. 

Such as this beautiful hat:

For those sunny summer days, when you don't need a real hat because your arm is willing to do the work for you.

And there's this lovely ensemble:

Next time, I'm not going to stop after three squares of chocolate. I'm going to eat the whole damn bar, and then put on this dress. 'Yes ma'am, I believe I do have a perfect figure. Well, one leg is more than enough for me.'

And these delightful sunglasses:

I know what you're thinking. But Lady Gaga was born in 1986, she didn't invent this style. It's all registered trademark of the 60s!

And I'd like one of these swim caps for my birthday, please (just in time for beach season):

Nobody will even try to pinch my butt or make fun of my cellulite, because it looks like I'm always watching. (Or sleeping, or meowing, or just... you know, sticking my tongue out).

Now this is a tricky picture:

I feel like.... it's breastnotizing me. But the lack of nipple is jarring.

There, I fixed it. It's a whole new you! You're welcome.

I feel so... alive. I've postmodernized pop art, and the adrenaline rush is unbelievable. I just can't stop.

And on that note, I'll leave you with the delightful game of Orgy:

Vintage Ad from Playboy

Flora On My Mind

It's spring!

I stop to stare at the local flowers, as neighbours stop to stare at me... staring at their flowers. I'm a woman obsessed with blossoms and petals (even though my thumb is the opposite colour of green. I have a red thumb). 

Maybe it's because my birthday is in May. Maybe it's because this means the Canadian blizzards are finally on hiatus for a few months. But when it comes down to it, I get high on spring.

Once upon a time in 1988, I watched a mesmerizing stop-motion animated tv show where the characters and background made from real grasses, leaves and flowers. It was called Windfalls, and there's barely a trace of it on the Internet. 

BUT. There's an artist named Elsa Mora who has created some of her own petal people art. They're very similar in style to the Windfalls characters (like Nettle, Butterbur, Rosebay, Delphinium), and they are graphically stunning.

They look good enough to eat.

Speaking of which: when we were filming scenes for Dundas Street at Domino's on Sunday (in the St. Lawrence Market), I perused their incredible selection of edible flowers, like candied lavender. Flowers, for eating! I'm kinda tardy for the party here, but as an amateur vegan/wheat-free baker, it got me all kinds of fired up!

(To be fair, one of my favourite movie scenes ever is when Willy Wonka drinks the daffodil tea cup, then eats it.)

He takes a whiskey drink, he takes a vodka drink

He eats a lager drink, he eats a cider drink....

and sings the songs that remind him of the best times

Right? So good.

Also, I always loved this Alice in Wonderland scene. I might have talked to flowers as a kid, after seeing it. Because hey, plants have personalities too.

Alice in Wonderland Pansies

Tiger Lily and Dandelion, in Wonderland

And, as is evident from my name in the top right, I have a soft spot for poppies. And Dorothy is literally getting high on spring here. I was just being metaphorical about myself before; She's the one doing the hardcore substance abuse. 

Wizard of Oz: Dorothy high on poppies

At least it looks pretty damn good on her.