Pet Your Pet

Listen:

I have been very busy finishing our short film 'Dundas Street' with my film partner, getting it ready for an upcoming deadline. Now that it's essentially done, I can recommit myself to being whimsical and charming for people of the internet. Once in a while, when I feel like it. Promise.

Now that all sass has been replenished, I have some fresh meat to lay down. And when I say fresh meat, I mean animals. But not to eat. I could never eat a dog or a horse, because they make me soft and stupid inside. I love them so much. 

Back to animals. Troy Emery and Jason Freeny. Who are these jokers? Answer: They are artists, who happen to be imaginatively clever. 

Troy Emery is amazing. He uses neon pompoms (probably my favourite medium) to create magical animal sculptures. Stripes, proportion play, colour blocking, and more!

© Troy Emery

© Troy Emery

© Troy Emery

© Troy Emery

© Troy Emery

Unfortunately, I sort of feel like Nicki Minaj or someone equally caustic would wear something like this.

Oh look, she already has:

via JustJared

But why would that cheapen my love for Emery's work? Emery's detailed patterning is gorgeous, and there's nothing like a real huggable rainbow.

One of his dogs is better than a pet because it's just as soft, but doesn't lick its own genitals before licking your face. Plus a real dog would like a miserable clown if you gave it a dyed technicolour coat.

And here we have Jason Freeny, a cunning sculpturist. My oh my. One of his projects is comprised of deconstructed vinyl toys, with inner anatomy on display.

Little bones, little heart, little intestines. And you could easily get away with calling it a adult toy. It's mature, it's scientific (fictionally scientific, but I'll side-step the oxymoron).

© Jason Freeny

Did you know that My Little Pony has bell-bottom foot bones? (I did. But that's an obvious one.)

© Jason Freeny

Did you know that a Care Bear is composed of more than just care?

© Jason Freeny

And now, a dough animal. But he's more than just dough! There's a pelvis in there too. Now we can find the origin of his 'woo hoo' sound. 

Copy and Paste Your Face

I never forget a face. You'll have to tattoo your name on me so I don't forget it, but a face stays in my mind forever. Unfortunately.

This is how it goes: If I've ever seen you on Facebook, or in passing with a friend of a friend, I will remember. And when I run into you, I smile or say hi. You then shoot me a weird look, or maybe feel flattered because you think a little blond girl is hitting on you. There's a lot of blushing and physical tension, and we both walk away. 

I just.... always remember faces, and it can make my life kind of awkward. 

It's facial features. We recognize patterns and proportions, muscles and wrinkles. But I remember the swagger in a cocky smile, the droopiness of a pissed off mouth. I even like crooked teeth, because they help build the story.

Anyway. I've always had a theory that the reason why people look alike is because there's a limited number of ways people could look. Certain noses, eyes, hairlines, chins, etc. are reconfigured and repeated in faces. I've had my share of twins. Francois Brunelle has got this all figured out.

Danielle Boucher and Jovette Desmarais

Alex Bartosik and Victoria Stusiak

He's a Canadian artist who has been working on a long-running photography project 'I'm Not a Look-Alike', in which he photographs doppelgangers. Brunelle's photos have already gotten a ton of press coverage, but deserve more than 15 minutes of fame. At least 20 or so would be good. There's something really magical about these long lost non twin look-alikes.

A whole bunch of other unrelated twins

So the truth is out, I'm big on doppelgangers. If you've ever seen Mulholland Dr., David Lynch really twists his storylines with doppelgangers. (I'll say no more; If you haven't seen it yet, do it. Right now.)

Since I'm really feeling this, I thought I'd go out on a limb, and share my own personally captured twins.

Brents Pix and Dogwelder, via Flickr

Party fire hydrants, these fratboys are brothers from another mother.

Daniel Hurst Photography and Laurie Melissa Photography, via Flickr

Tire swinging. Separated at birth.

00 images, Andrew Lively, chemicalbrother7, HoraVarlan via Flickr

Lonely clouds all look the exact same.



What is the conclusion one can draw?

Chances are, your photography isn't original. Neither is your face.

(But hey, I never forget a face.)

Art School, Cool Fools

The best part of being an art student is getting away with anything. Nothing is of major consequence; you're not trying to sell your work or please a client to pay your rent. In fact, you're the one paying a school to nurture your creativity, foster your ideas. Often those ideas are strange, confusing... experiments [mistakes].

I wish I cared a bit less when I was in school. I was such a hard ass, very strict with my brain. I really didn't like the idea of making mistakes. If only I relaxed a bit, maybe I'd have come up with something as heartwrenchingly exciting as these stunners:

This is my favourite, elephant aaaaaaaarrmmmmm

I mean it. I think these are incredible. It's like jumping off the roof into a pool of garage sale. I'm getting itchy just looking at them. 

To be fair, the designers are fashion students at a top school in England. They need press and notoriety to get somewhere after grad. They probably don't have the laissez-faire attitude I'm imagining. 

Have you seen Art School Confidential? It's mandatory. That's all. 

I don't like to get into conversations about art with people who hate. There's always someone who says, my 5 year old could make this crap. And I think, but they didn't! If your 5 year old can somehow get a gallery show and sell their work successfully, that's when they'll get the seal of approval from the public. You need to join the capitalist club to be someone. It's kind of confusing (which is why I try to avoid talking about it altogether).  

But then there are those under appreciated, quiet artists who don't get the recognition they deserve. Don't worry, when I'm rich enough I'll buy their art and support those stars. Or just blog about them behind their backs.


(Student designs on the runway at the Royal College of Art Graduate Show June 2, 2011)