Fantasy-Horror of Thrift Shopping

It sounds like a miracle, a wonderful thrift magic time. Shopping at different Value Village, Goodwill, and Salvation Army stores, many many evenings in a row. A treasure hunt paradise...

Except when I absolutely cannot find what I'm looking for. A simple, common item that shouldn't be this hard to find. All I'm asking for is a Grandma coat. A beige, shoulder-padded, shapeless coat for a main character in the short film I'm collaborating on (with Sofia Bohdanowicz), called 'Dundas Street'.

She needs to fade into the background. A forgettable woman. I'm sure you've seen this kind of woman many times before on the mean streets of Toronto. They walk to the grocery store in small steps; they sit at the front of the bus with their loafers and lady purses. They're nice and quiet (and probably have a whole circus going on in their heads but they hide it well).

And one would think that thrift stores would be filled with coats these ladies would wear. Wool, trench, cotton; Easy pickings, am I right? Like shooting fish in a barrel of monkeys (or something).

I'm so wrong. It's been extremely difficult. We have a wardrobe fitting in 2 days. I've been dragging myself all over the city, and not even stellar vintage finds have been able to console me.

So here was my latest mission: Venture out to the sweet spot in the Junction, where there is a Value Village, Salvation Army, and other little thrift stores all within walking distance of each other. And I solemnly swore to relish the opportunities presented before me; Embrace the outrageous, the hideous, the fantastically horrific. Here are the best finds of my super thrift adventure:

Why yes, this teddy bear is in fact glued to the frame.

Super glamourous garden party hat.

The best effin Christmas vest I've ever laid eyes on (yes I bought it).

Psychedelic needlepoint (bought this too).

Hard to believe this is real. Must download 'Sammy' from iTunes.

Fruit giftbag*. With tape all over the corner.

*Note: When I lived with my friend Gwen, we collected photographic fruit decor. I miss our old place, it looked like a supermarket from the 80s.

And as for that Grandma coat?

Right here. Plain as a vanilla wallflower. I think it'll be perfect for the woman in our short film, 'Dundas Street'.